Not sure what to do with this blog…

Hello, my pretties! How are you all? Doing well, I hope!

I’m… alright, though I feel a bit meh about some things. Including this blog. Not really meh, just… I feel like there isn’t much more to say here? Not if I stick to what I have been doing, and keeping this blog strictly personal. I don’t know. I keep thinking about what I can do, or what I should do. I also keep thinking about what I could put here. Maybe my brain’s just getting lazy.

I will not delete the blog, that’s for sure. Even if I eventually stop posting here, I won’t want to lose everything I have ever written here, and all the contacts I’ve made through this blog, and all the blogs I follow with this account.

I’ll just have to think about what I will be doing and what I will be posting here in the future. While I work on that, if there’s anything you’d like to see here, please share it with me in the comments! I’ll be happy to oblige!

See you on the next post… whenever that happens!

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I miss having a roleplaying group, but…

Hello, my pretties! How are you all doing? Well, I hope!

I’m still alive and kicking. Things are complicated, staying home for so long hasn’t been easy, but I’m doing the best I can to stay sane-ish. Can’t really expect much sanity from me, can you?

Well… I’ve come here to whine a bit today, but before I start whining, I’ll advise you to visit Scott’s blog, where he talks a bit about his own roleplaying group.

Click here for his latest Game Night post.

This is the kind of thing I’ve been missing, to be honest, but at the same time, I know I haven’t quite been doing much to get it. There’s so much to do to get there – choose a core concept, a gaming system, a venue – discord, roll20, forums, etc – and, more importantly, people who are interested in that.

I know I should probably stop complaining and start working on a concept, but… the energy just isn’t here. A friend tried to start a group, but it ended up falling through, and I did try to start a group myself, but it also fell through for a few reasons – namely, creative differences within the group.

Oh, well. I guess I’ll go back to the drawing board – and maybe one day I’ll find the right group.

What have you been missing during these times? Share it with me in the comments!

See you all on the next post!

Where’s the logic?

Hello, everyone! How are you all doing? Well, I hope! I’m doing just fine (well, as much as possible in these times)!

After playing a bit of a disappearing act, I’m here to talk about… things. As usual.

So, very recently, we have had three confirmed cases of COVID in my parents’ building (we live in the same complex, but mine has no cases so far). This led to them begging me not to use the elevators anymore when I visit them, which I’m happy to do. It’s just two flights of stairs, and I understand why they would feel that’s unsafe.

The logic there is sound. Until you look at their own behavior outside of that.

Basically, in their personal logic, these things I do are going to kill us all:

Using elevators;
Doing my grocery and other shopping online and having things delivered;
Ordering the occasional take out.

While these things they do are perfectly fine and safe:

Going out more than once a week to buy whatever they need (even though both myself and younger neighbors have offered to buy their groceries or order online for them);
Since they’re already going out anyway, visiting multiple households on the same outing (none of those people – not even themselves – have been vaccinated yet, and some of them “don’t believe” in masks).

Can you find the logic there? If you can, please explain it to me! Is there anyone in your life who has this kind of interesting logic? Share it with me in the comments!

See you on the next post! (Whenever it happens)

When you lose someone you didn’t love

Hello, my pretties! How are you all doing? Well, I hope!

I’m doing as well as one can be during this current situation, and I’m back here to share a little reflection with you all!

My father’s mother (I hesitate to call her my grandmother) passed away a week ago. It was a surprise, even though I knew she was sick. I think we never expect anyone to actually die, no matter how much we know the person is sick and it’s only a matter of time. Other than the surprise, though, I didn’t really feel much. I felt bad for my father and his siblings, and the other grandchildren who had a much closer relationship with her.

My brother and I were always kind of pushed aside because she didn’t like my mother. That alone always made me wary and uncomfortable around her. Even the attempted gestures of affection felt fake. I remember the day when she basically said “not you” when she called all of the grandkids to come sit near her. At that point, I mentally disowned her. What else could I do?

During the next years, I was forced into a relationship with her, because I was a minor and none of my parents would take no for an answer. My visits happened like this: I’d come in, greet everyone, grandma would sometimes leave her room for seconds, say hello and go back into her room. I’d sit on the couch chatting with my grandpa (he was actually nice to me and I loved hearing his stories from his years as a police office in the 50s) for a couple hours, and then hear her complain that I was going home so soon.

The last straw was definitely when she tried to give me an aspirin after I had told her I couldn’t have it (I’m allergic) and she tried to insist I was making it up. I was about 13, and I had enough after that. I still went through the motions, but whatever love was there just faded out at this point. After I moved out of my home town and to where I live now, I went no contact. It just felt easier then, because I couldn’t be forced to visit or call anymore.

When she passed, I will have to admit I felt… nothing. I didn’t feel like I had lost a grandmother, because I didn’t have one in her. But I wonder what that makes me. Am I evil? Heartless? Cold? I don’t know. It’s hard to figure out. It’s not flattering to admit that I felt relief, not grief.

Oh, well. If you want to share your thoughts, please do! I’m open to anything!

See you on the next post!

Short Sunday post – Brazilian AMA

Hello, my pretties! How are you all doing? Well, I hope!

I’m doing alright, though it’s been a very, very long week, so I thought I’d make a short post and open up the comments for questions.

A lot of my readers (all of you?) are from countries other than Brazil, so I thought I’d leave this post open for questions you all might have! Feel free to ask any questions – cultural customs, population, food, History, language, etc. If you do want to talk politics, please understand I’m less political than most people, but I will answer your questions to the best of my ability!

As for when this AMA will go on the blog, probably next Sunday! Feel free to comment here (best choice) or send me your questions via email, Instagram, Twitter (dms), Discord, or any other form of communication you choose!

See you all on the next post!

A small step forward

Hello, my pretties! How are you all doing? I hope you’re doing well and staying safe!

I’m alive, and still COVID-free, which is not that surprising as I work from home and haven’t really gone out other than to stock up on groceries once or twice a month.

I’m still tired, and stressed, and, I have to admit, I did break down a little earlier this week, as everything at work feels way too heavy, way more than I can do being piled up on me.

Yesterday, after trying to talk to my boss several times and getting nowhere, I finally lost my shit. I threw caution to the wind and just told him I can’t take it anywhere, and that something needs to be taken off my plate. Despite my stress, I had a plan of action, and proposed it to my boss. He did agree, which doesn’t make my life easy, but it does make it easier and a little bit less stressful.

I’m still considering quitting, because it should never have to reach a point where one of your employees is breaking to do something about it, but that gives me a little more time to breathe, think and plan.

In the meanwhile, I’m trying to keep the blogs updated, and doing a little side gig teaching English conversation. It’s some extra work on my plate, not much money, but preparing lesson plans and teaching has been a lot of fun and a welcome break from the kind of work I do.

What about you all? What have you been doing? Anything new? I’d love to read about it in the comments!

See you on the next post!

February 1st, 2021 – Small life update

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Photo by Anna Tazarevich on Pexels

Hello, my pretties! Are you all alive and healthy? I sure hope so! I am… well, alive. And COVID-free so far – thank God (or insert your deity of choice here)!

I have been dropping so many balls lately I’ll eventually slip on one of them and fall, but hey – life’s hectic right now, so I’ll do what I can and try not to worry too much.

With all that babbling out of the way, I just came here to share some life updates, because why not? Without further ado, here we go.

1- I’m obviously back to WordPress, because I’m too lazy to keep posting on two different blogs in the same language;

2- Despite eating like an elephant, I’m keeping my exercise routine and slowly losing weight;

3- I’m eating a lot less meat lately, but fish is still a staple at home. And broccoli. And lentils – I love lentils;

4- Carnaval has been canceled due to the virus, so there will be no break this year. Bummer;

5- I’m considering compiling a huge list of the things I like from A to Z and just doing one mega post. But I still need to get past I… or O… I forget.

I guess that’s pretty much it… what is happening in your lives? Share it with me in the comments! As a wise man says, a dialogue is better than a monologue. ;)

See you on the next post!

Things I like from A to Z – Blogging

Hello, my pretties! How are you all? Doing well, I hope! (Yes, I’m here again. No, I can’t make up my mind on things. Ever)

Well, I’m here to carry on with my Things I like from A to Z series, currently featuring a grand total of one post. I’m also here to… be here, get used to the block editor and stop being such a perfectionist. Will I succeed? Who knows?

Well, my failure to make a decision apart, let us move on to the subject matter, shall we?

I think it’s a surprise to exactly no one that the thing I like starting with a B is blogging. I have been doing it for almost twenty years, starting in 2002, after all. At first, it was something I did mostly lazily. My job at the time left me some serious downtime, and I needed a project to keep me busy during such time. Somehow, I learned about blogs and started working on one.

Friends, it was bad. Really, really bad. The theme was this purple/aqua monstrosity with some flowers, if I recall correctly (thank God it no longer exists!). And the content was so cringe-worthy. A virtual diary for a character who, looking back now, was very whiny and immature at first. I do have to admit she matured a lot as her story developed and I started interacting with other blogs, but oof. Those first couple months were rough.

Around the same time, I started a personal blog. Also very cringy, I’m sure, though it was a lot of fun. It was something like this one, mostly. I’d just start a new post and write whatever was in my mind that day. I really wish I still had that kind of enthusiasm, but oh well… time has passed.

Blogging is still a source of joy for me, though. It allows me to vent, to clear my head, to share something, and it has made me quite some good friends or acquaintances. With the state of the world, I have been going back and forth, wondering whether or not I should stop blogging, but I know I just can’t. No matter how much I try to stop, I just like it too much.

What about you? How long have you been blogging? What do you love about it? How’s your blogging journey going at the moment? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

See you on the next post!

Things I like from A to Z – Avocados

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Hello there! How are you? How’s 2021 treating you so far? Well, I hope!

Kicking off with the first non Happy New Year! post in 2021, I thought I’d bring in some positivity to the blog… and give myself an easy way to write content at the same time. Win-win!

How am I going to do that? By choosing a lazy theme for a series, of course! 😁

And what better theme than things I like? It gives me easy content, it gives you the opportunity to know more about me (I’m sure you’re thrilled), and it keeps things positive for as long as there are letters in the alphabet!

For letter A, I chose avocados. Why? Well, because I like them! I’ve loved them since childhood, and I have a little story to tell.

Back when I was little (about when dinosaurs roamed the Earth), my family had a little house near the coast, where we spent weekends or vacations. Right in front of said house, there was a big avocado tree. I, being the restless little thing I was, spent a lot of time climbing that tree, hanging from a branch (the house was on top of a hill, it would have been a nasty fall, but I never took it) or perched on a sturdy one. 

And, of course, having the tree there, we picked avocados when they were ripe and eat them for breakfast. 

Now, from what I’ve seen it, people in the US use it for salty dishes. Here in Brazil, we either mash them and eat them with sugar (a favorite of mine) or use it to make a very thick and very delicious smoothie. I have tried guacamole a while ago, but I still prefer avocados in the ways I mentioned above, sorry. Please don’t stop loving me. 

Alright, I think I have rambled enough. Do you like avocados? Hate ’em? Indifferent? And how do you like them? I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

See you on the next!

The end of a very weird year…

Hey there! Here I am again, letting myself ramble on a little.

2020 is finally ending. This was a weird year, to say the very least. It feels somewhat like a “lost year”, so to speak, with everything that happened.

I wonder what 2021 will bring… while looking back at 2020.

There weren’t many highlights this year, but this is what changed:

In January, I finally managed to sell my old apartment and repay my dad for the amount he loaned me to buy my current one;

In March, my state went on lock down. I remember the 9th being the last day I left the house without the shadow of the virus looming so heavily over us, and on the 17th, everything closed down. My job also put us all on vacation for a week, and then working part time for three months.

In June, my brother decided to accuse me of “trying to kill our parents” because I went to their house for lunch. I hadn’t been out of the house since March, but in his mind, I was going to catch COVID and give it to them. Things between us have been shaken ever since.

In July, we went back to work with normal hours. I have to admit working 4 hours day was really good, even with the reduced income. I got to rest and do a lot of other things with the remaining hours.

In September, my now girlfriend asked me if I wanted to become official. I obviously said yes.

In October, my parents completed 42 years of marriage. We had a little celebration at home with takeout for dinner, and they got a special breakfast delivered, so it did get marked.

In November, I turned 38. Ooof, I know, old. My boss talked about closing off the company I work for and moving everyone to his new company. I don’t know how I feel about that.

In December, my girlfriend turned 33 (I forgot her birthday, but she forgave me and I made sure I won’t forget next year), I managed to get my parents a little something for Christmas on time and my brother contacted me, after going whining to my mother that I had blocked him. I had not, by the way. Things are still a little weird. My uncle caught COVID, but he’s doing better and at home. I haven’t caught, and I’m waiting for us to get a vaccine here in Brazil as soon as we can.

And that’s pretty much where we are now… it’s almost 8 PM and I’m counting the time until this year ends. There’s still a lot to do and a lot of problems to solve come 2021. But we’ll get there!

What are your hopes for the upcoming year? Do you have a retrospective post? I’d love to read it!

Happy new year, and see you on the next!