I swear I’m religious, y’all

Just a little light-hearted copy paste from a conversation I was having with friends on Discord. This is me, so I’m not taking anyone else’s comment, as that would be rude.

But I found it an interesting way to share what I believe, even if it’s not the most polite way to express one’s beliefs out there.

How do you express yours? Share them with me in the comments!

Stay safe and healthy! (And I still dislike block editor, but I’m trying)

Share your favorite blogs!

Hello, my pretties! I hope you are all doing well during these trying times!

I’m doing well enough, though I am still wondering whether or not I will continue blogging on WordPress after the changes to Block Editor were made. A part of me is inclined to say, not as often as I used to.

I have still been happy to read other blogs, though, so I though why not support other bloggers who are still active? Do you have any blog you really, really love? Share it with me! A little blurb about them would be nice as well!

Thank you in advance, and stay safe!

World Suicide Prevention Day

Hello, my pretties! Are you all doing well?

I sure hope you are!

Yes, I am still taking my break, but this is important, so I’ve decided to slip in for a post.

Tomorrow (or today, depending on where you are) is World Suicide Prevention Day, and that’s a theme I’m very passionate about, so I’ve decided to try and compile a post here with information for mine and other countries.

Would you kindly share the resources in your areas, or links to your blog posts where you have them posted? Thank you so much in advance!

Brazil/Brasil

CVV – Centro de Valorização da Vida.

Phone number: 188

Website: https://www.cvv.org.br/

They also have a chat where you can talk to someone, here: https://www.cvv.org.br/chat/

While I hope you never need them, if you do, please reach out. There is hope!

I need a break…

Hello, my darlings! Are you all doing well and staying safe? I really hope you are doing as well as you can in these trying times.

I… am trying to do well. But I’m tired. Stressed. Trying to balance everything I need to do and still not drop the ball. I am dropping it, though. Including here on the blog.

Work, other projects and new (good) things happening on my personal life mean I have less and less time.

Add to that the new WordPress editor (I don’t like it, sorry) and I just don’t feel that passion anymore. Not for now, at least.

I’m not deleting the blog. I still want to be here, read and comment on other people’s work. I’m not sure whether or not I’ll carry on updating, though. Maybe this break is what I need to rest my mind and come back refreshed. We’ll see.

Until I make up my mind, I’ll leave you all in very good hands with all the blogs I follow. You can see them on the sidebar.

You all be good while I’m not here! See you on your blogs!

Confession time: I was the ‘other woman’ once

Hello, my pretties! How are you all doing? Well, I hope!

I’m doing well enough, working my tail off but still holding on to some of my sanity (I’ll talk about all I do for work someday… maybe).

But, since some of my sanity has gone the way of the dodo already, I thought I’d share one of my dumbest moments. The moment I was The Other Woman and didn’t realize it right away. Sit down and grab a snack.

I met L in my early twenties, through a mutual friend at a hobby group. L was fine. He was a bit taller than me, tanned, dark-haired and green eyed. He was also smart, funny, a few years older than me (around 28-30, if I’m not mistaken), and interested in the same hobby I was into. What’s not to like? We hit it off pretty quickly.

At first, we just spent some time together after the hobby portion was over, chatting. Then it was out for ice cream. Then it was dinner. Then it was a park, and by the way, I have my daughter this weekend, is it okay if I bring her along? Oh… your daughter. Uh… okay.

He brought her along (I think she was maybe a bit under 2 years old) and it was fine. He was minding her, and the kid was nice. I didn’t have to get too involved in this first outing. Of course, this was about to change.

As we spent more time together, he had the kid come along more and more often (which is okay, he’s her father!) and started slowly pushing her towards me, with a small task here, another there, and you are so good with her… And he seemed to have her much more than the weekends, but that was fine too.

Everything was fine, until he mentioned that he was “still in the process off getting divorced”, and my inner alarms started sounding. I started asking questions about how long they had been separated. Ooops, no, not separated, they were living in the same house, but it was just for the kid. Another red flag. And then, she had gotten pregnant to keep him in the marriage.

Oh, boy. That’s when it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was not dating a recently separated guy. I was dating a married guy. Like, really, truly married. Damn. I can’t even put all my feelings in words. I felt gross. Guilty. Stupid. Angry. At him, at the friend in common, at myself.

No, nothing explosive happened, though. I just told him to go back to his wife, blocked him on everything and the friend was collateral damage. I just couldn’t look at her face anymore and think she had introduced me to that son of a gun.

I was dumb. Really, really dumb. I can admit that now, with a lot less shame than I carried when I found out I was helping a guy cheat on his wife.

Last I heard of him, they were still married. And I’m really sorry I was that stupid.

I’ll take a shower now, because I feel icky again recounting this. I would ask you all to be nice in the comments, but you know what? Let me have it.

See you all on the next post!

Blog Recommendation – August 2020

Hello, my pretties! How are you all? Staying safe and healthy, I hope!

Since today is Sunday and Sunday is a lazy day, I decided it was time for a lazy post! Because why not?

So today’s lazy post is just a blog recommendation, and if I don’t forget, I’ll try and do one of those each month, because there are way too many amazing bloggers I follow! Not that they need my shout out, but it’s still nice to talk about them!

Today’s recommendation is Bryn Donovan’s Blog.

What is her blog about? Bryn is an author and editor, and her blog features resources for writers, book reviews, and other forms of inspiratin.

Why do I recommend it? As someone who’s interested in writing myself, her blog has helped me with a lot of things, and it’s also entertaining, double win! Add to it that Bryn is a truly lovely and funny person, and you’ve got a great package!

What are you still doing here? Go pay Bryn’s blog a visit! Go, go! I’ll see you on the next post!

What’s in my bag?

sling bag hanging on black metal holder
Photo by Castorly Stock on Pexels.com

Hello, my pretties! How are you all doing? I hope you’re all healthy and safe! I for one definitely am, though not going anywhere since March 8th has been taking a toll. It’s alright, though, we all need to be patient until things get better.

Since I have a little bit of time and energy today, here I am chatting with you all for a while.

I’m always fascinated for those ‘what’s in my bag’ videos/vlogs/posts, so I thought, why not? Not like I’m interesting at all, but I decided to share it anyway.

First things first – I always carry massive bags. My bags are usually so big I have used them as travel bags more than once. I just love having bags that can fit everything and the kitchen sink.

Second things second – definitely not everything I carry is useful, but hey – I don’t know anyone who can’t say they don’t carry even a teeny tiny useless thing around, so… without further ado, this is what is usually in my bag:

  • keys (house only, I don’t drive)
  • phone
  • wallet
  • planner
  • blogging notebook (yes, I carry them both)
  • some reading material, in case I have to do something that involves waiting for a long time
  • pencil case with a ton of Bic pens and a mechanic pencil
  • my current crochet project (same as reading material, though I leave it at home if I’m going anywhere with a metal detector)
  • any smaller items I’ve bought on my trip to the outside world (one major reason for me to carry the gigantic bags)

I guess that’s it. While some things may vary here and there, this is mostly what I carry on my bag at all times.

What about you? Do you carry a small bag? Medium sized? Gigantic? And what do you take in it? Share it with me in the comments!

See you on the next post!

Early bird or night owl?

Hello, my pretties! How are you all doing? Everyone staying healthy and safe? I really do hope so!

I’m finally back to full-time, which means time is… not really available for most things. I didn’t want to spend too long away from here, though, so I just drop by to leave a quick question for all of you!

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

I can say for myself that I am a miserable combination of both – I wake up some time around six and can’t really go into deep sleep anymore, and then, once it’s bedtime for any sensible person, my ideas want to come out and play and have me do anything other than sleeping. It’s been like this since I can remember, and not even sleeping pills have fixed the issue.

What about you all? I’d love to hear from you, and, if you are an early to bed, early to rise person, tell me about it! I’m always very curious about the likes of you!

See you all on the next post (or in the comments), and stay safe!

Where do you find inspiration to post?

black choker on beige scarf
Photo by Jane Pham on Pexels.com

Hello, my pretties! How are you all? Doing well and staying safe, I hope! I’ve been doing well enough, still working part time, though I suspect it will end soon as work is picking up quickly and our customers are going back to work! As I still have time to blog, I’ll take advantage of it and try to keep both of my blogs updated until work swallows me again!

Speaking of blogs, I would love to know where you, my blogger friends, get inspiration for your posts!

As for me… everywhere would be a good way to say it. Shower thoughts, doing the dishes thoughts, reading some other blog, a conversation with friends, a book I’m reading… pretty much any and everything can inspire me. Whenever I am reading more blogs, I always get inspired to share my own take in whatever my fellow bloggers have written about, though it usually happens after a few weeks, as I keep a pretty long list of themes.

I am curious about you all, though. Is there any specific brainstorming exercise you swear by? Or do you, like me, take inspiration from everything around you?

I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

See you on the next post!

Mental Health – Why I’m not on meds

Hello, my pretties! How are you all? Doing well, I hope! I’m doing well enough, and trying to get a little more active when it comes to posting on my blogs. We’ll see how long that will last.

Before I go any further, please be aware that this post is going to talk specifically about my mental health, and, as I type the posts when I publish, I can’t tell exactly which themes I will touch, but there may be some sensitive ones there. Reader discretion is advised.

With the warning out of the way, let us move on, shall we?

I can’t really look back and pinpoint when I started noticing my mental health wasn’t what it was supposed to be. Having been raised by a mother who could be described as neglectful at times and abusive at others, let’s say my normal was never… what is usually accepted as normal.

The earliest I can remember about my childhood not being normal is that around the age of six I was sure I was my father’s daughter, but not my mother’s. In my young mind, I believed that I was his love child with someone else and that’s why my mother didn’t like me. That’s something my mother finds very amusing, by the way, make of that what you will. It was also the age when I remember being treated differently from all of my grandmother’s other grandchildren, because she didn’t like my mother. So I basically didn’t have many people to turn to.

As years went by, I became more and more into myself. I spent a lot of time with a “friend” who was very overbearing, and who acted as though me having other friends was an act of betrayal. Add to that living in a household where my mother was a religious fanatic prone to raiding my bedroom for ‘satanic’ literature, and I felt more and more stifled.

At some point during high school, I started talking to myself – a lot. I was so stressed and isolated I felt like nobody but me would listen to me. My school counselor noticed it when she saw me walking home once and asked my mother to take me to therapy. She did, though it didn’t help that much. On one end, there was the therapy telling me I was perfectly normal and mentally healthy (really, lady?). And then when I came home from my sessions, my brother was there saying things like ‘look, the crazy girl is home’.

I was around 16 back then, and branching out into more friendships. I was still stressed and unsure of myself, though, as I wasn’t used to having friends. The ones I had were nice, but I had spent so many years isolated by a bad friend I didn’t really know what to do. This was the state of affairs for the rest of my school career, and it was when I started taking some pills in a clumsy attempt at ‘sleeping and not waking up’. It never worked, and if someone at home noticed, they didn’t say anything. Neither did I.

Fast forward to university – which I didn’t want to go to right away, but went to because my parents pushed for it – and things were getting worse. During exam weeks, I was literally not sleeping for full weeks straight. I’d pass out in exhaustion for a couple hours, then wake up and be unable to sleep at night. I was this close to breaking, and death was constantly in my mind. I just wanted the agony to stop.

After trying to bottle it up, I finally broke down and begged my mother for help. She mercifully listened and took me to a psychiatrist – even though she was mortified I needed one.

The psychiatrist talked to me (with my mother sitting right there) and decided my problem was anxiety and I needed medication for that. I was on board with it, of course, anything that could ease my agony would be welcome. So he prescribed the medication and I started taking it.

It. Was. Horrible. Whatever effect the medication was supposed to have, it backfired. I was exhausted and sleepy all day and still awake at night. I gave it time, maybe it needed more time for my body to get used to it. Nope, months in and I was still dying during the days, when I had to work, and stark awake at nights, when I could rest.

I asked the doctor to review my medication. He increased my dosage… during the day. I still tried again, maybe it would work? Nope, it didn’t. I was still a zombie all day and awake all night.

And this is when I decided to drop this doctor and the medication.

Do I advise anyone to do it? Nope.

Do I regret it? No, I don’t. It was the right decision for me at the time.

Well, I guess I’ve said enough already! If you have anything you want to share, the comments are open!

See you on the next post!