Why I write about abusive relationships

Hello, visitors! How are you all? Well, I hope!

Here we come again, with the second weekend post! I really want to start posting more often, but it’s not in the cards for now. Soon, who knows?

Since the jury’s still out on whether or not I’ll be able to post more often than the weekends, let’s move on to the actual post, shall we?

The title to this post refer to a question I’m often asked. Jay, why do you write about abusive relationships in your solo stories, and some collective ones?

The question has been asked many times by many people, and it does make sense, so I thought I’d answer it here, before this becomes a bigger misunderstanding than I would like to see.

First things first: I don’t find abusive relationships ‘cool’, ‘romantic’, ‘cute’ or anything of the sort. They’re disgusting, scary, and not even remotely romantic. Period.

If I don’t find it anywhere near nice or romantic, why do I write about it? In one word, catharsis. 

I have been involved in an (emotionally) abusive relationship, not too long ago. It was a long distance one, but it nearly destroyed me. It was everything I  mentioned above. It was disgusting. It was scary, having me in fear of saying or doing the wrong thing at all times. It wasn’t even remotely romantic. It was the worst thing that could have happened to me, and, for a while, I thought it was all my fault.

And, despite the fact that it has been almost four years since I broke off contact, I have yet to recover. Simple things, like hearing the same name my abuser had, or hearing things that remind me of him, still give me a brief moment of panic. When I’m out and about, sometimes I still catch myself picking up my phone to report to him if anything in my routine changes. 

I can’t turn back the clock and make different choices. I have to move forward. The future is all I have. But writing helps. In writing, I can make different choices. I can push back and say ‘no’. I can move on sooner, instead of letting myself be turned into an empty shell of a woman.

So, that’s why I write about abusive relationships. Because it helps me heal.

Well, there you go, visitors. That’s my reason. What about you? Does any of my fellow writers have one time they use writing as a therapy for? Does it work? Has it helped you? Have you felt any difference at all?

I would love to know the answer, along with any questions or suggestions, in the comments! Stay strong!

Many blessings, and see you on the next post!

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