Character Profile: Allison Randall

Hello, readers, how are you all? Well, I hope! I’m alive, waiting for the results for my MRI (should have them tomorrow), still dealing with the trauma of a cockroach walking up my leg last night, but alive.

And I come here with a post that’s not solely about random everyday life events – another character profile.

Mandatory content warning: This character has a backstory of sexual abuse, and domestic violence is a part of her life.

General information

Name: Allison Randall (goes by Pamela when at work)

Age: 24 years old

Appearance: I use Allison Harvard for her appearance. 

Personality: Due to her profession, Allison doesn’t really seem to have a personality. She will act as expected of her, and that’s it. At home, she’s equally neutral, and highly submissive when it comes to her life partner.

Family: Absent mother, abusive father. Allison hasn’t really met her mother more then twice in her life, and has no feelings whatsoever towards the woman, positive or negative. As for her father, she refuses to even meet him since she moved out of his house.

Significant other: Randy – boyfriend and pimp

Personal history:

Allison was born in a small town, in a location I have chosen to keep vague. Her mother was never home – she was either in jail or with some man who wasn’t her father. Her father was constantly unemployed, but at least he was home. 

Her first few years weren’t the happiest ones of her life, but they weren’t the worst either. The small family lived off of food stamps and charitable donations, and kept to themselves. Her father had the occasional drinking buddy in the house, but they didn’t really get out much.

Everything was doing really well up until Allison started developing into a young woman. Her father’s drinking buddies started noticing her. And they went from noticing her to wanting her. And offering money for her. Money her father was happy to take.

This was the beginning of Allison’s ‘career’ as a sex worker. At first, she would just do as she was told, but, as she became older, she started figuring out that she could be a little more active and make a little more money. At the age of sixteen, she was a professional. 

And then everything went wrong. Well, more than it had been going before.

When one of her regular customers decided he didn’t want to wear a condom, Allison ended up giving in. And, since nothing is so bad it can’t get worse, she ended up getting pregnant, and being kicked out of the house by her father.

That was when she met Randy. He took her under her wing, helped her get rid of the unwanted child, and became her new pimp once she was back on her feet. At first, it was just a business relationship. She kept doing what she knew how to do, he kept her safe and got a cut from her profits.

Sadly, Allison ended up falling for him, and moving into his apartment after just a short while. 

At this point in her story, they are stuck in a very toxic relationship, and unable to leave each other, as they can’t live without their particular brand of dysfunction. I planned on giving Allison her happy ending – I believe everyone deserves this chance -, but I haven’t had the chance to play it out yet.

Maybe some day – even if I have to write her solo story.

Note: I have met many Allisons, and gone to university with a few of them. I have nothing but compassion and respect for the Allisons of this world, as I know they didn’t choose this life. They simply had a bad hand dealt to them. I was privileged, and never had to worry about where my next meal would come from. But that’s not everyone’s reality.

Next profile will be more upbeat, I promise!

See you all on the next post!

The carbonara, or: out of my comfort zone

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The famous (or infamous?) carbonara

Hello, readers! How are you all? Well, I hope!

Here I come again today to speak about random stuff. Basically, about how I left my comfort zone in two fronts today, and how much fun it was.

Those who know me well know three things about me:

  1. I’m a major introvert;
  2. I have major performance anxiety;
  3. I love cooking for people.

These all came together today during lunch, and with pretty good results.

Backstory: I often go to my mom’s house on a Sunday to cook something special for their lunch – usually pasta or a risotto. The exact recipe used depends on what they want for the day, or what I have on hand at home.

So, this past week, my dad said he was craving my carbonara recipe while we waited for me to get my MRI (see my previous post for details).  I immediately decided it would be a good idea for me to cook it this weekend, and started making arrangements with my dad.

On Saturday, we went to the mall, had lunch and then went to the store to shop for necessities and the ingredients for my carbonara. As is usual, my dad paid for them and took them home so I wouldn’t have to carry everything there on my way to their home.

Today, my mom called me and told me a friend of hers was there with her husband and son, and they were waiting for me to cook lunch. Friends, I froze. Every time I have to do something I know how to do in front of (near) strangers, I feel I’ll automatically fail.

But a promise is a promise, so I took a shower and off I went to my mom’s.

Got there after about a 20 minute walk, greeted everyone and off to the kitchen I went, feeling like I was about to have a heart attack. The fact that my mom’s kitchen is tiny and she was also there making other stuff didn’t help either. But hey, people were hungry and I had to cook. 

If you have ever cooked this specific dish, you know there’s some prepping involved, and you kind of have to do it all at once. I don’t really know how I managed, for real. Anxiety was brewing inside me, but I kept going, and, about 20 minutes after I got to my mom’s, we were ready to go. It looked good. It smelled good. And we sat down to eat.

My mom’s friend’s husband and I started talking about cooking, since at that point I only knew he liked cooking. He started asking about my recipe, and I told him about it. He then told me two things – one that caused me to freeze, and one that made me feel very proud of myself.

The thing that caused me to freeze was that he had worked as a chef for 12 years before moving to Brazil. The thing that made me feel proud was that mine, in his words, was the best carbonara he had eaten in Brazil. And then we started talking shop. We have a lot in common, like the passion for cooking for others and the love for garlic. So we spent the rest of our lunch swapping tips and recipes, and he still went away saying he wants to be present next time I cook something.

Well, that was it. I just felt like bragging a little, because it’s not every day you get someone who’s a professional to compliment your cooking in such enthusiastic terms. And it’s definitely not every day you make two amazing new friends (the lady and her husband) and make someone’s day brighter, as she had been really depressed and told me she was feeling much better after spending time with us and having a comfort meal.

That’s it for today, friends! I just needed to post something, and – as it’s becoming usual for me -, instead of writing the next post on my list, I ended up sharing something about my every day life.

Hopefully, the next post will indeed be what I had planned. Unless something incredibly boring interesting happens in my life, of course. Then you’ll be subject to reading about stuff you don’t wanna know.

It’s your turn to speak now! How about you share something positive that happened recently, or what you have done for your Sunday? I’m a stalker curious, and always want to hear what you all have to say!

Have a great night, and see you on the next post!

Finally had the MRI, and it was horrible

Hello, dear readers! How are you all? Well, I hope!

I’m back to talking to you all after surviving an experience I will forever describe as absolutely horrifying. 

So, those who read this blog regularly (are there any?) know I have been dealing with a certain health issue – and that’s as specific as I’m willing to get for now, because really, y’all don’t need to know the details of my boring life. Really, really. I promise, it’s nothing interesting. I did not swallow poison capsules in an attempt to smuggle them for my hot spy boyfriend, sadly. It’s just a mundane issue.

And since, before they fix my very mundane issue, they need to poke, look inside me, and do all kinds of cruel and unusual experiments on me (I may or may not be adding dramatic flair to that), today I was the vic… er, I mean, I was subjected to another one of those experiments.

 

MRI_machine
They forced me into this monstrosity today

Said experiment was an MRI, and this is how it went: 

It all started yesterday, because there’s a lot of prepping involved, including, but not limited to, fasting. Which sucks. Seriously, fasting is terrible! Why do doctors ask people to fast at all? Sorry, sorry, I get a little bit upset when someone tries to prevent me from eating.

Then, today, I had to wake up at seven, which is earlier than the time I usually get out of bed, in order to do more preppy stuff. Try following a list of instructions after waking up earlier than usual and without coffee, and come tell me about it later. But I still half-assed through the list and got ready to go on time.

The torture, I mean, procedure, was scheduled to 9, but we (my dad was kind enough to drive me there) were supposed to be at the clinic at 8:30. And so we were. We greeted the lady in the reception area, and paid for the privilege of being mistreated by a doctor. And then we waited.

We waited for about one hour, and then a doctor took me into an office so we could start the process. She was nice enough, which made this experience much less stressful than it would otherwise have been. So, we talked about why I was there, what I was feeling, chit chatted a little about being a woman being a bitch sometimes while she checked my previous exams, and then off we went.

She took me to change clothing, and that was easy enough. I changed into those hospital garments, placed my stuff in a locker, and was led to a waiting room from which I could hear the noises made by the torture chamber. She then came back and told me they would inject me with some sort of anaesthesia and then a medical contrast thing to make seeing my insides easier. I love getting injected with things when I don’t know exactly what they contain. It’s a thrill.

So, there had been no poking me with a needle yet by then. I was taken to the torture chamber, made to lie down and strapped to the bed. Yes, that was excellent for my claustrophobia. I had a lot of fun. A blanket was placed over me, and I was instructed to place my hands on my boobs (fun!) and remain perfectly still (curse you, nice doctor lady). Which I did, because I wanted this to be over soon – despite the fact that every part of my body that could possibly itch during this whole ordeal did. It started off on my nose, then hip, then knee, then ankle, then all these parts at once… It was very entertaining.

I was then wheeled inside the tube of death and stayed there, listening to various noises and staring at a cloudy sky panel that was sadly not enough to take my mind off of that dreadful tube. So I started thinking about all kinds of random things, from dishes in the sink to things I plan on subjecting my collaborative writing characters to because I’m an absolute witch who loves to see them suffer. 

After about 25 years – give or take -, I was slowly wheeled out of the tube of death. Great, I thought to myself. It’s over. But wasn’t I supposed to have gotten shots? Did she forget about those?

No, friends, she hadn’t. The second part of the torture was just about to start. First thing I must state is that I have no veins. No, really. Count Dracula himself couldn’t find an access to suck my blood, and that would be my saving grace if my favorite vampire should ever come across me and get hungry. He would probably still kill me out of frustration, but I would get to keep my blood.

acesso-venoso
This thing was shoved into my poor vein

So we played pin the tail with my hand being the donkey and a syringe being the tail. After a while, though, she finally found a vein. And then she stuck the double access into my hand – a process that hurt like hell, not gonna lie. Then there was a lot of tape involved and some blood cleaning, because my hand was (still is) bleeding from all of the poking.

And back into the tube of death I went. Still without anything in my veins.

So, a second round of staying in the tube of death went by, before the lady doctor came back to finally get fluids inside my poor vein. She did so, which burned like hell (I think it was the contrast), and then the process started again.

At some point, I was starting to feel sleepy. And then I started feeling my chest tight. I couldn’t breathe well. I was starting to panic, I knew it. So I started counting the different kinds of sounds the machine was making, because I didn’t want to squeeze the little button thing the doctor had given me. I feared any delay would make this longer.

Finally, though, it didn’t last much longer after this part. When I was about to scream like a banshee or act as though I had been buried alive, the nice doctor lady came back and told me it was over. 

From there, I had to get up – which is not easy with a bad back after being on a hard bed and unable to move for a long time – and get back to the dressing room to change back into my regular clothes. And then I forced my dad to pay for a Subway for me because I was starving. And it had been one hour and a half of me being trapped in the tube of death.

Phew. That was a LONG one, wasn’t it? But if I had to be miserable, you guys have to suffer too. I hope my long moments of fear, pain and suffering are entertaining for you all.

On a final note, I have to say I’m deeply grateful that I carry health insurance, that I can afford the things not covered by it, and that I have a specialized clinic with excellent professionals within walking distance of my house.

I still hate going to the doctors, though, and I always will.

I… don’t even know what to ask you guys right now. Asking you all to share miserable medical experiences sounds sort of cruel. But if you feel so inclined, please share!

Thanks for reading this random vent by yours truly, and see you on the next post! (If my left hand doesn’t fall off after typing this much. Ouch!)

My view on relationships

Hello, readers! How are you all? Well, I hope!

I have survived the cold, and now I’m back to bore, er, fascinate, you all with more posts about things you probably don’t want to read about!

Today, the thing you all don’t care about is: my view on relationships.

Why am I even bothering with this? Mostly because, after my post on being happily single, I have had a conversation or two with friends about my stance on remaining unmarried and uncoupled.

As with any unconventional decision, there’s always a set of questions a person gets asked. So, I thought I would approach them here, and maybe make things easier on others like me:

1- What happened to you? Do you have any trauma?

Yes and no. I do have some traumas related to sexual abuse from my past. But these are not related to me not having relationships, as I have had some in the past. Some good, some bad, some indifferent. There’s nothing to do with my past, but my present. What I want for my life – peace and quiet – just doesn’t match the demands of a relationship.

2- Do you resent other people who choose to be in relationships?

Why would I? I’m a big proponent of to each their own in this life. The same way I have chosen to remain single and child-free, others have made different choices. They have chosen to marry. They have chosen to have or adopt children. They have chosen to backpack across the world, while I’m happy at home or staying at a nice hotel if I do travel.

It’s all about different choices. Different strokes for different folks. What works for me, works for me.

What works for everyone else is their own choice.

Live and let live, y’all.

I, personally, find the idea of a romantic relationship limiting and suffocating. I hate having someone keep tabs on me, or tell me my mood affected theirs, or a lot of other negatives that come with having a life partner.

And yes, I know there are positives. They don’t really sway me, as I really can’t stay in love with anyone for more than a month or two.

So, there you have it. I get bored. For those who don’t? More power to them, and I wish them happy and long lives with their life partners. Sincerely.

And, that’s it for now. What are your own views on romantic relationships? Share them with me!

Thanks for reading, and see you on the next post!

Why I haven’t been around for a while

Hello, readers! How are you all? Well, I hope!

I come here today mostly to say hello, because I have missed posting here on the blog and I would like to make it clear that I’m not dead. Despite the fact that my body has actively tried to make sure I would be by now. 

Well, no, I’m not dead. I have just been battling a pretty annoying cold. Nothing too serious. The usual lack of appetite, tiredness and the ever charming 80 year old smoker coughing all day and night are the only things I have to complain about.

I haven’t been completely idle, though, while I try not to cough out a lung and hope to be able to rest a little.

While the blog has been idle, I have been doing some collaborative writing, though less than usual due to the aforementioned cold, and working on the outline for a solo story I have been toying around for a while. I’m still wondering whether or not it will be posted here, as whatever I come up with will be a first draft. I might post it here, or just give updates on the process and post once I have had the time to polish things off a little.

I’ll probably have some update about that in the near future. Provided I don’t forget all about it, that is. (Nah, I won’t, it’s written down on my blogging planner).

Well, that’s it for now, I have honestly only showed up to post because I missed being here. I’ll have a more decent post later in the week, when I feel better.

While we wait, why don’t you all share whatever projects you have with me in the comments? I love knowing what other writers are up to!

Have a great end of day (or whatever time it is where you are), and see you all on the next post!

Blogger Recognition Award

Dear Lord, she’s at it again, says the poor reader who comes around this blog.

It’t not my fault. Blame Non-Euclidean Sofa (henceforth to be known as the jerk) again for this thing in which I post two days in a row. He’s very lucky I’m a non-violent person with a fear of flying. I will just sit at home with my cup of coffee and hope his cat farts on his face at 5 in the morning.

Now that you all know who is to blame, let us move on, shall we?

I’m supposed to post the rules of the awards, even though we all know I’m going to break them anyway, so here they go:

Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog. (Check)
Give a brief story of how your blog started. (Will be done)
Give two pieces of advice to new bloggers. (I can try)
Select 10 other bloggers you want to give this award to. (We know I’m not doing this, I don’t know people!)
Comment on each blog and let them know you have nominated them and provide the link to the post you created. (Look above)

With the rules out of the way, here goes the parts of the thing I can do without pissing anyone off. Hopefully.

How did the blog start?

It sprouted spontaneously from the ground. Oh, wait, no, it didn’t. I have been blogging for a very long time. As in, people who were born when I started blogging are almost old enough to drive. Yes, I am old. And during this time, I have created and torched several blogs, on several niches, all in my mother language (Portuguese). They were fun exercises, but not many people read me at all, so I ended up getting discouraged. Not too long ago, I decided to start writing in English, and it has been a really good and fun experience – and I’m even forming connections, yay!

Two pieces of advice for new bloggers.

One: write what you love. If you don’t love your blog, nobody will. And if you keep writing about things you don’t love, you’ll get tired and run out of ideas soon.

Two: Hang in there. It takes time to build readership. Keep writing, someone is reading. It takes time for people to start commenting, but they will. Don’t get discouraged. 

I hope these are helpful.

Select 10 bloggers.

I don’t even know that many people! But I’ll do some nominating for this one:

Serenity in the Insanity – I’m a new reader, but her posts are delightful, and I hope she’ll appreciate the nomination!

Drop by and take a peek at her blog, will you? I’ll drop by now, since I have to let her know she’s the happy recipient of this hot potato.

See you all on the next post!

Liebster Award: Because I have to (not really)

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This thing looks cool

All right, hello, readers! How are you all? Hopefully well! Here I am again, writing to you, because I was forced to. Gun to my head and all. Nah, not really. I’m here because I got nominated to the Liebster Award, which is a thing. I didn’t know it was a thing. I didn’t know how it worked (I don’t really get it well yet, but I hope I will by the end of this post). I thought it would bite me. Lucky for me, it didn’t. Well, it hasn’t done so yet.

So, apparently this thing works like a hot potato. You get it, and then you pass it along. But since I’m always super afraid people will feel obligated (not that I did, I actually find the concept fun), I’l make it an open invitation thing. Yes, because I don’t want anyone to be mad at me. Well… not for this reason. 

I will start this off by thanking Non-Euclidean Sofa (that jerk) for nominating me. I truly appreciate it, even though I just called him a jerk. I’m bad and I should feel bad. But I don’t.

Then, I have to list the rules for this, because that’s how it works, I guess. Before I do the rest. So here they go:

The Liebster Award is available from January 1 to December 31, 2018. All nominations are voluntary. If the blogger chooses to accept said nomination, you should follow the rules listed below.

IF YOU HAVE BEEN NOMINATED AND YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT, WRITE A BLOG ABOUT THE LIEBSTER AWARD, IN WHICH YOU:

Thank the person who nominated you, and post a link to their blog on your blog.
Display the award on your blog, by including it in your post and/or displaying it using a “widget” or “gadget.” (Note that the best way to do this is to save the image to your computer, and then upload it to your blog post.)
Answer 11 questions about yourself which will be provided by the person who nominated you.
Provide eleven random facts about yourself.
Nominate 5-11 bloggers that you feel deserve the award, and who have less than 1000 followers. (I’m totally breaking this rule for the reasons stated above – and because I really can’t pick my brain for 11 new questions. I know, I know)
Create a new list of questions for the blogger to answer.
List these rules in your post (you can copy and paste from here.) Once you have written and published the blog, you have to:
Inform the people/blogs that you have nominated for the Liebster Award and provide a link for them to your post, so that they may learn about it.

With the rules out of the way, here goes the rest.

I need to present 11 random facts about myself, right? Okay, you asked for it:

  1. I have heterocromia. My eyes are hazel near the pupil, then they turn green, and then there’s a black halo around the green part. When I’m in the sunlight, they appear to be fully green.
  2. When I was younger, my hair also had different colors, with red and almost blonde bits closer to my neck. I have dark hair and never dyed it.
  3. I hate speaking. The act of speaking, using my voice, etc. When I have to make or answer a phone call, it’s sheer torture.
  4. I absolutely hate large groups. I’ll feel physically unwell if I have to interact with several people at once.
  5. I don’t like people coming to my house. Sorry.
  6. I absolutely love my job, even though it stresses me out (customer service).
  7. I have learned how to drive, but refused to get a license because I’m a nervous wreck and would probably run over someone or ram into someone else’s car pretty quickly after getting it.
  8. I have a ridiculously high pain threshold. As in, I once had dermatological surgery without anesthesia and it didn’t occur to me that I should have gotten it, because the pain wasn’t that bad.
  9. I often carry purses large enough for the kitchen sink, my friends and family to fit inside.
  10. I’m extremely accident prone, and have broken both ankles in different occasions.
  11. I think this list was too short and I have so many more crazy stuff to share about me.

Okay, the eleven facts are done. Now on to answering all of the questions. Here we go:

#1 – What is a story you would be comfortable telling a stranger over the course of a 3-minute elevator ride in a hotel you have doubts about.

Honestly? I would probably share whatever happened to me that day or how I have come across this place. I can share random stuff like a pro.

#2 – Would you ride a horse?

I have, and it was a terrifying experience. The horse was very well-behaved, but something about riding a living being just scared the shit out of me.

#3 – Would you ride a horse into battle?

Hahaha, no. Never, ever. I wouldn’t ride a horse anywhere.

#4 – Would your previous answer change if you knew “Battle” was the name of a grocery store, and you would not be charged for the damages you and your steed would certainly cause?

Oh, dear. I can cause the same damage a horse can within a grocery store. Just give me a backpack.

#5 – What is a song that has been stuck in your head that you would be embarrassed to be caught singing under your breath at a coffee shop?

Song that has been stuck in my head: Ain’t no mountain high enough. Would I be embarrassed to be caught singing it at all? Hell, no. My embarrassment meter is broken.

#6 – If you were left alone on a deserted island, what do you think you would use to build a friend to chat with to pass the years until an aircraft carrier rolls over your little island like a steamroller over a bag of grapes?

Why would I want to chat with anyone? 

#7 – Do you dip something in your coffee or tea?

No, but I do place small pieces of bread and some sugar in my milk for a hassle-free, tasty treat sometimes.

#8 – If you were given unlimited funds for 12 minutes, what would you do?

Obviously go on a shopping spree inside the nearest bookstore for all of those shiny books it would take me years to actually read.

#9 – What book have you been meaning to read?

All of them. Every single book in existence. But more specifically, I have been meaning to buy Women who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype, by Clarissa Pinkola Estés. It has been highly recommended to me.

#10 – What is something weird or arbitrary that just gets to you; do you have a weird pet peeve?

I’m a huge pile of pet peeves, so it’s kind of complicated. I would say ‘then’ instead of ‘than’ is a big one. Sure, it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, but it matters to me.

#11 – If you became a ghost when you die, where do you think you’d haunt.

I would probably haunt a library and be the friendly ghost whispering book recommendations to people and vanishing before they could actually see me. It would be fun.

I guess that’s it. That was a long post. Not that I don’t like it. I mean, I do have my daily word quotas to get, and this helps. 

So, I guess this is out of the way, right? 

So, while I’m not openly nominating anyone to do it, I would love for any of my blogger readers to do it (with the questions I have answered, because I’m a lazy butt) and drop me a link here so I can read their answers!

With that, I now bid you farewell and go back to work. Someone has to pay for food, coffee and internet access so I can keep updating the blog, after all.

Have an awesome rest of the day, and see you all on the next post!

Who writes the blog? Questions and answers

Hello, readers! How are you all? Well, I hope! I’m doing okay-ish, had a bit of a rough day, but the evening is much better, so here I am posting again, because I just can’t stay away from this blog.

I had been meaning to write a general post about me, even though the blog does have an About me & the blog page with some info.

Talking about me without any direction isn’t really easy, though, so I decided to fish around for a list of questions, and found these 50 questions in Mariannelle’s blog. I have linked it here, but I don’t know her or the blog, it was just the first one I happened to stumble upon.

I’m also probably not gonna be answering all of the questions, because I’m lazy, and I might not have anything to say about some of them. Yes, I will be reading each question and answering it as I go. Great, right? So, let’s go to the questions and answer. Have fun!

1: What’s your name?

Well, I don’t ever use the name assigned to me at birth unless it’s a work or business situation. So, for all intents and purposes, my name’s Jay.

2: What is your Zodiac sign?

I don’t really believe in astrology, but for what it’s worth, I’m a Sagittarius (November 27th).

3: List 3 fears:

Sharks, cockroaches, enclosed spaces.

4: 3 things I love:

Books, my bed, spending time with family.

5: Last song I listened to:

Don’t look back in anger, by Oasis

6: The reason I started blogging:

That… is a very good question. I have enjoyed writing since I have learned how to. I have kept journals from a very young age, and, with time, my journals became sites for short stories out of my mind, and then I started buying notebooks and writing longer stories for the fun of it. I also loved writing classes at school, and took an elective Creative Writing class when I was going to college. I have started blogging about 15 years ago, because I had been reading a certain series, and started writing fan fictions with an original character within the universe. This character was so much fun to write that I created a blog for her journal. That was my first blog, and, from then on, I have written several others, until I have settled for this one.

7: How I feel right now:

Well. My day didn’t really get off to a good start, as I was in a lot of pain for most of the day. It has subsided now (no meds involved, yay), and I managed to get my exercise routine done, so I feel much better and hope for a good night’s sleep.

8: Something I really really want:

Honestly? I would love to make writing my career, and maybe move South, into a smaller city or a town. Other than that, I’m pretty content with my life.

9: My current relationship status:

Single, and planning on remaining this way for the rest of my life.

10: Meaning behind my URL:

Well, everything in this blog is a brainstorm. I don’t really plan out much more than ‘it would be fun to write about this’. The posts are written when I publish them, and I don’t really spend too much time outlining anything, unless the post involves some sort of research.

11: My favorite movie:

That’s a tough one. I love any and all Disney and Pixar movies I have ever watched. I also absolutely love Dangerous Liaisons, a 1988 movie with Glenn Close, John Malkovich, Keanu Reeves and Uma Thurman in the central roles.

12: My favorite song:

Another tough one. I currently really like I see fire, by Ed Sheeran. I’m sure this answer will change if you ask me again next week.

13: Things that upset me:

Whew. Does everything count? I’m a very grumpy person, and get easily overwhelmed. If I have to pinpoint things, I would say people with poor work ethics and rudeness in general.

14: Things that make me happy:

Going out for a stroll at the mall, having a meal with loved ones, cooking for the people I love, going for a ride in a bookstore and finding something I really like – I’m a girl of simple tastes.

15: What I find attractive in other people:

A willingness to listen, to open up, and interesting topics of conversation.

16: Someone I miss:

My late maternal grandmother, she passed away when I was 15.

17: Someone I love:

My parents and brother.

18: My relationship with my parents:

I have a very close relationship with my dad. My mom has always said I would make a beeline for him and ignore her when they both came home from work at the end of the day. I’m very much like him, in appearance, personality, and tastes. My relationship with my mother is harder, as we don’t really see eye to eye on many things. I try my best to have a good relationship with her, but it’s not really easy. It has improved, though, since I have moved into my own apartment.

19: My favorite holiday:

I’m not very much into celebrating holidays in general, but I would say the end of year holidays, both because I have more time to rest, as the company I work for closes during the holiday season, and because it marks the transition to a new year.

20: Someone famous I’d date:

I’m super private, so probably nobody. Dating a famous person would be my worst nightmare.

21: A confession:

I sleep with a stuffed animal (he’ll make an appearance here in the future!).

22: My favorite animal:

Cats – house cats, big cats (tigers are a personal favorite) – and wolves.  I can’t pick between them, sorry.

23: One thing I have lied about:

I can’t really remember, to be honest. I’m not a saint, just the worst liar ever, so I stick with the truth. I also have a terrible memory, which makes lying a pain in the ass, even if I was so inclined.

24: Something that’s currently worrying me:

My health – I have been battling the health system to get me surgery for a medical issue – and my weight – I have been working on my diet and adding exercise to my day in order to deal with it, and have lost 4 pounds so far. It’s not much, but it’s a step in the right direction.

25: An embarrassing moment:

I have many, but the day when I, as  a child, climbed up a tree and got my foot stuck. I didn’t want anyone to get my parents, so I stayed there nearly the entire day. That is, until I saw a huge lizard, and my foot got magically unstuck so I could get off the tree as fast as I could. One thing that was really nice, though, was that I was never left alone, and there was always a cousin or friend up there keeping me company.

26: Where I work:

I currently work from home for a software development company.

27: Something that’s constantly on my mind:

Sleep.

28: 3 habits I have:

Drinking lots of water during the day. Reading a lot of Wikipedia entries. Keeping my crochet hook and yarn near me to get some work into any idle moment.

29: My future goals:

To be honest, I don’t really have many. At the moment, I just want to get approved for surgery, so I can start focusing on something else in the future.

30: My favorite food:

A juicy burger with a side of fries. Why lie?

31: What I did yesterday:

I went out with my parents for Mother’s Day lunch, then came home and slept for the rest of the day, as I wasn’t feeling well.

32: Something I’m talented at:

I think I’m a good enough writer, and I’m also pretty good at crocheting cute things.

33: My idea of a perfect date:

Takeout (pizza, please) and a movie. I like being home.

34: My favorite blog:

Currently, Non-Euclidean Sofa holds this position. The author has a great way of framing the mundane in hilarious posts. I’m always looking forward to his next post.

35: Number of kids I want:

Zero.

36: Do I smoke/drink:

Never touched a cigarette in my life. I drink the occasional fancy beverage once a month or every other month, but my beverage of choice when I’m out and about is orange juice.

Oof. I think we can stop here, can’t we? I’m really tired of typing and talking about myself.

I hope these questions have given you all a bit of an insight on little old me. If you have any more questions, please do share them, will you? I’ll be happy to answer them on a future post!

With that out of way, off to bed I go!

Have a good one, and see you on the next post!

The dark side of roleplaying

Hello, there, visitors! How are you all? Well, I hope!

Here I come again to talk to you about things you probably don’t care about. It’s kind of what I do, so roll with it.

Before I start rambling, I’ll just add a disclaimer: I am talking about collaborative writing between two partners, or involving a larger group. Not sexual roleplaying. Okay? Are we cool? All right, let’s move on.

Those who know me well – which means, none of you all – know I’ve been roleplaying online since before I even knew the term roleplaying. I started it off with a blog dedicated to being a virtual diary for a character, and it moved on from there into a collective blog in which everyone had their own character, and then chat roleplays and forums – my currently preferred medium.

And don’t get me wrong, I have met some amazing people while roleplaying. People I consider part of my family to this day. People I would give the shirt of my back and my last scrap of food to if they only asked. For real, I love those people as much as I love my blood family.

But, as with everything, roleplaying does come with a dark side.

Of course, it’s not my first rodeo, so, at some point, you end up learning that sometimes you set yourself up for failure before you even start. I will definitely share the love stories soon, as I have many, including ongoing ones.

But for now, I want to share the bad things I have met within the community. Those are my experiences, your mileage may vary.

  1. Impatient people.  Now, I love the stories I’m involved in as much as the next gal, but I have a life, you know? I have a job, a family, a sleep schedule (a screwed up one, but it’s there) and other things to do in life other than replying the second my partner writes a post. I have had people ditch me because they couldn’t wait for the weekend, torment me with countdowns (because I had to drop everything and reply within five minutes) and throw epic adult tantrums because they posted at 2 am and I wasn’t around to chat right then.
  2. Double standards. Ah, the double standard folks. They can keep you waiting for weeks, but you need to post instantly. They can have atrocious grammar and spelling, but they will correct yours all the time. They can write one-liners, but you better ‘give them something to work with’. Basically, can’t stand them.
  3. Can’t take no for an answer. No matter what they want, if you don’t want it, you better suck it up and do it anyway. That includes if you don’t want to roleplay with them at all. They will beg, they will guilt trip, and they will eventually get aggressive. Delightful people.
  4. The one who gets attached way too quickly. We all know that one person who uses roleplaying as an outlet for the relationships they can’t form in real life. They usually ‘fall in love’ very quickly and become pretty hard to shake.
  5. The creepy ones. They are a close relative of number 4, but they need to make lewd comments, ask intimate questions and occasionally request nude pictures because why not
  6. The smut hound. This may be a close relative of number 5, but their interest rests on in-game intimate situations. They will want to write intimate scenes all the time, with or without context, with out without consent. 

These are the ones I can remember for now. The common theme is usually a lack of respect for their partner as a person.

I have, as a woman, encountered all of these, as women are often expected to be mild-mannered and not really assertive, these types – usually male, but sometimes females as well – get away with being pushy and rude with little to no consequence for their actions.

It’s not all doom and gloom, though, and there are many great roleplaying partners out there. I will surely address that in the future.

For now, though, I leave you all, as bed is calling my name.

Have a great night, and see you all on the next post!

What are my plans for the blog?

Hello, visitors! How are you all? Well, I hope!

Here I come again with one of those ‘so what?’ posts, just because I felt like writing one out today.

I read a lot about blogging, and a lot of it involves mentions of a purpose, or a reason for blogging. So, I naturally started thinking about my purpose, and plans for the blog.

To be honest, my sole purpose for the blog was well, to blog. I have been blogging for a very long time. If I’m not mistaken, my first blog was created in 2002. It may have been even earlier on than that. So, I have been blogging for at the very least 15 years. That’s a long time.

I have had several blogs, made friends through my blogging, and it has always been a form of therapy for me to keep them. The blogs kept me focused, they forced me to write – which has kept me accountable – and they forced me to branch out, read, learn new things, all to keep them going. There’s only so much about myself to talk about, after all.

So, since everyone apparently needs to have an objective when blogging, these are mine:

  1. Improving my English writing skills;
  2. Keeping me accountable – I have to write in order to update the blog, after all;
  3. Get some thoughts out of my head;
  4. Learn and experience new things so I can share them here.

For now, this is all I expect. I plan on coming back to the blog as often as I possibly can, even if I don’t have anything important to talk about. I’m glad that, for now, I have a pretty long list of things I want to post about. Let’s see how long I can hold on for.

What about you, fellow bloggers? What are your plans with your own blogs? I’d love to know, feel free to share with me in the comments!