If you love your job, you’ll never work a day in your life… Bullshit!

Hello, my pretties! How are you all doing? Well, I hope! I’m doing well enough… a little ashamed of how long I have left the blog without a post, but I’ll try to do better! Nothing really happened! I’ve just been stuck with some writer’s block and also got sidetracked starting a new project, but now that the foundations are set, I should have the time to show up here more often!

Work has been keeping me pretty busy as well, and that’s why I ended up thinking of the theme for this post!

How many times have you read or heard someone say “if you love your job, you won’t work a day in your life”? I have to admit I feel that I have heard it way too many times. More than enough that I hope I’ll never hear it for the rest of my days.

Why? Because this is such bullshit. Work is work. You may love to work, you may love the things said work allows you to have – money, stability, something to do -, but it’s still work. You still have to do it whether or not you want to (provided you work for someone else, self-employment is a different beast most of the time). You can still be fired and unable to provide for yourself if you don’t do it to (insert person paying you here)’s satisfaction.

Why am I saying this today? Who knows, maybe I’m just tired of another meeting in which nothing really changed. Or I’m tired because it’s Friday. Or I’m jealous of people who don’t need to work anymore (I totally am). There’s no single reason for it. It’s just a random rant.

I think I’ve spoken too much already, so it’s your turn now. What do you think when you hear the words that motivated me to waste your time with this drivel? Share your thoughts in the comments!

See you on the next post! (Hopefully in a shorter interval than between the last one and this one!)

I miss having a roleplaying group, but…

Hello, my pretties! How are you all doing? Well, I hope!

I’m still alive and kicking. Things are complicated, staying home for so long hasn’t been easy, but I’m doing the best I can to stay sane-ish. Can’t really expect much sanity from me, can you?

Well… I’ve come here to whine a bit today, but before I start whining, I’ll advise you to visit Scott’s blog, where he talks a bit about his own roleplaying group.

Click here for his latest Game Night post.

This is the kind of thing I’ve been missing, to be honest, but at the same time, I know I haven’t quite been doing much to get it. There’s so much to do to get there – choose a core concept, a gaming system, a venue – discord, roll20, forums, etc – and, more importantly, people who are interested in that.

I know I should probably stop complaining and start working on a concept, but… the energy just isn’t here. A friend tried to start a group, but it ended up falling through, and I did try to start a group myself, but it also fell through for a few reasons – namely, creative differences within the group.

Oh, well. I guess I’ll go back to the drawing board – and maybe one day I’ll find the right group.

What have you been missing during these times? Share it with me in the comments!

See you all on the next post!

When you lose someone you didn’t love

Hello, my pretties! How are you all doing? Well, I hope!

I’m doing as well as one can be during this current situation, and I’m back here to share a little reflection with you all!

My father’s mother (I hesitate to call her my grandmother) passed away a week ago. It was a surprise, even though I knew she was sick. I think we never expect anyone to actually die, no matter how much we know the person is sick and it’s only a matter of time. Other than the surprise, though, I didn’t really feel much. I felt bad for my father and his siblings, and the other grandchildren who had a much closer relationship with her.

My brother and I were always kind of pushed aside because she didn’t like my mother. That alone always made me wary and uncomfortable around her. Even the attempted gestures of affection felt fake. I remember the day when she basically said “not you” when she called all of the grandkids to come sit near her. At that point, I mentally disowned her. What else could I do?

During the next years, I was forced into a relationship with her, because I was a minor and none of my parents would take no for an answer. My visits happened like this: I’d come in, greet everyone, grandma would sometimes leave her room for seconds, say hello and go back into her room. I’d sit on the couch chatting with my grandpa (he was actually nice to me and I loved hearing his stories from his years as a police office in the 50s) for a couple hours, and then hear her complain that I was going home so soon.

The last straw was definitely when she tried to give me an aspirin after I had told her I couldn’t have it (I’m allergic) and she tried to insist I was making it up. I was about 13, and I had enough after that. I still went through the motions, but whatever love was there just faded out at this point. After I moved out of my home town and to where I live now, I went no contact. It just felt easier then, because I couldn’t be forced to visit or call anymore.

When she passed, I will have to admit I felt… nothing. I didn’t feel like I had lost a grandmother, because I didn’t have one in her. But I wonder what that makes me. Am I evil? Heartless? Cold? I don’t know. It’s hard to figure out. It’s not flattering to admit that I felt relief, not grief.

Oh, well. If you want to share your thoughts, please do! I’m open to anything!

See you on the next post!

A small step forward

Hello, my pretties! How are you all doing? I hope you’re doing well and staying safe!

I’m alive, and still COVID-free, which is not that surprising as I work from home and haven’t really gone out other than to stock up on groceries once or twice a month.

I’m still tired, and stressed, and, I have to admit, I did break down a little earlier this week, as everything at work feels way too heavy, way more than I can do being piled up on me.

Yesterday, after trying to talk to my boss several times and getting nowhere, I finally lost my shit. I threw caution to the wind and just told him I can’t take it anywhere, and that something needs to be taken off my plate. Despite my stress, I had a plan of action, and proposed it to my boss. He did agree, which doesn’t make my life easy, but it does make it easier and a little bit less stressful.

I’m still considering quitting, because it should never have to reach a point where one of your employees is breaking to do something about it, but that gives me a little more time to breathe, think and plan.

In the meanwhile, I’m trying to keep the blogs updated, and doing a little side gig teaching English conversation. It’s some extra work on my plate, not much money, but preparing lesson plans and teaching has been a lot of fun and a welcome break from the kind of work I do.

What about you all? What have you been doing? Anything new? I’d love to read about it in the comments!

See you on the next post!

February 1st, 2021 – Small life update

Atualizar Texto De Letras Em Fundo Preto
Photo by Anna Tazarevich on Pexels

Hello, my pretties! Are you all alive and healthy? I sure hope so! I am… well, alive. And COVID-free so far – thank God (or insert your deity of choice here)!

I have been dropping so many balls lately I’ll eventually slip on one of them and fall, but hey – life’s hectic right now, so I’ll do what I can and try not to worry too much.

With all that babbling out of the way, I just came here to share some life updates, because why not? Without further ado, here we go.

1- I’m obviously back to WordPress, because I’m too lazy to keep posting on two different blogs in the same language;

2- Despite eating like an elephant, I’m keeping my exercise routine and slowly losing weight;

3- I’m eating a lot less meat lately, but fish is still a staple at home. And broccoli. And lentils – I love lentils;

4- Carnaval has been canceled due to the virus, so there will be no break this year. Bummer;

5- I’m considering compiling a huge list of the things I like from A to Z and just doing one mega post. But I still need to get past I… or O… I forget.

I guess that’s pretty much it… what is happening in your lives? Share it with me in the comments! As a wise man says, a dialogue is better than a monologue. ;)

See you on the next post!

About my new blog – pros and cons

Hello, my pretties! How are you all doing? Well, I hope!

First of all, Merry Christmas and happy holidays! If you don’t celebrate anything, like I don’t, happy end of year break!

With greetings out of the way, here we go. As those of you who read here often know, I’ve finally given up the battle against the dreaded block editor, and gone back to blogging on Blogspot. I won’t delete this blog, and I may drop by every now and then and post a little something, but my new blogging home is the address below:

https://livingabiteveryday.blogspot.com/

And now, the pros and cons of the change, because it’s important that I give as unbiased a report as possible.

Pros:

I already knew the workings, since my first blog had been on Blogspot, more years ago than I can (or want to) admit.

It’s easy to write – just start a new post, type your stuff, format and publish. No need to bother with blocks.

I can use a wide variety of themes for free, including making changes to the html code myself should I choose to.

If I choose to get the premium version, it’s a lot cheaper than WordPress. A lot as in, I can pay for 5 years of Blogspot premium with what WordPress (not even full premium) would cost me.

I like it better – that’s a big pro for me.

Cons:

Honestly, I don’t see many cons right now, since I gave up on trying with the block editor. I’d say the only ones I found were the two below:

Blogspot doesn’t have a ‘like’ button such as WordPress does.

I’ll have to start building up a readership and contact with other bloggers from scratch.

Well, I guess that’s all I have to say right now! I really hope I’ll see you there, but I’ll still be around here, liking and commenting on your blogs!

See you all soon!

How untreated mental illness ruins relationships

Trigger warning: Mental illness, verbal abuse.

Hello, my pretties! How are you all doing? Well, I hope!

I know I haven’t been around much, but I’m trying not to completely abandon the blog, I promise. I won’t be posting as often as I once did, I guess, but I’ll still drop by here whenever I feel like I have something to say.

Today I come to talk a bit more about mental health, which is a theme that’s near and dear to my heart, mostly because I suffer with poor mental health myself.

I was thinking about someone who is not in my life anymore, Mike (name changed for privacy).

Mike was my boyfriend for a few years. He was a friend of a friend (like 99% of my significant others), and, when we met, he seemed nice enough. I fell for him really quickly, as you do. I’m a bit better about it, but I used to be very quick to fall for anyone who could strike my fancy. At first, he wanted to be just friends. It hurt, but I accepted it, and we carried on as friends until, at some point, he decided he wanted more than that. We started dating, and, at some point down the line, he was spending a lot of time in my apartment, more than at home. I didn’t mind, at first.

Now, Mike suffered from depression and anxiety, and I knew that before he started mostly living with me. What I did not know was that I was signing up for a living hell. At first, life was okay. But then he started acting very paranoid and weird. Losing his ever-loving mind every time I went out without him, which happened at least once a week, as I liked going to the store after work, and that happened before he came home from work. Sometimes, I’d meet a relative at the mall attached to the store and let him know we’d stop for a cup of coffee. At first, he was fine with it, but as time went by, he started demanding pictures to prove I was with the person I said I was with.

And then, when I got home, all hell broke loose. Coming home 10 minutes later because I had gotten stuck in traffic turned into me cheating on him and my relative covering up for me. Me not wanting him to read my emails also turned into me talking to other men. Me forgetting to get something he wanted but hadn’t put on the list from the store turned into me doing it to spite him. And it all turned into screaming matches, tears and rants about how I was just as bad as his ex, blah blah blah. It was nerve-wracking, but I swallowed my tears and words. Until I learned that he was stopping his meds cold turkey every now and then for some reason (a part of me thinks he did it to punish me, for… something, but I don’t think I’ll ever know).

I have to admit I was pissed. Knowing he was making this decision to make my life a living hell really got to me. I have no idea how I refrained myself enough to simply pack his stuff when he was at work, put everything at the entrance hall and change my locks. Because I have to admit what I wanted to do was much less calm than that.

After he calmed down, he tried to contact me several times, going on about how he missed me. How he knew he was being abusive, but he was in therapy and much better now. When that gave him nothing, he started using mutual friends to relay messages, and they started becoming aggressive again. Sadly, I had to cut contact with some friends as well, because I couldn’t trust them not to keep telling me about his life and vice-versa.

Moral of this story? I’m not saying you have to take meds, that’s between you and your care provider. But whatever treatment you’re involved in, please, for your sake and for the sake of those you love, don’t just interrupt it, especially to ‘show them’, or what have you.

Well, that is it for today. I really hope this post hasn’t upset, offended or triggered anyone. Please take good care of yourselves! See you all on the next post!

What’s in my bag?

sling bag hanging on black metal holder
Photo by Castorly Stock on Pexels.com

Hello, my pretties! How are you all doing? I hope you’re all healthy and safe! I for one definitely am, though not going anywhere since March 8th has been taking a toll. It’s alright, though, we all need to be patient until things get better.

Since I have a little bit of time and energy today, here I am chatting with you all for a while.

I’m always fascinated for those ‘what’s in my bag’ videos/vlogs/posts, so I thought, why not? Not like I’m interesting at all, but I decided to share it anyway.

First things first – I always carry massive bags. My bags are usually so big I have used them as travel bags more than once. I just love having bags that can fit everything and the kitchen sink.

Second things second – definitely not everything I carry is useful, but hey – I don’t know anyone who can’t say they don’t carry even a teeny tiny useless thing around, so… without further ado, this is what is usually in my bag:

  • keys (house only, I don’t drive)
  • phone
  • wallet
  • planner
  • blogging notebook (yes, I carry them both)
  • some reading material, in case I have to do something that involves waiting for a long time
  • pencil case with a ton of Bic pens and a mechanic pencil
  • my current crochet project (same as reading material, though I leave it at home if I’m going anywhere with a metal detector)
  • any smaller items I’ve bought on my trip to the outside world (one major reason for me to carry the gigantic bags)

I guess that’s it. While some things may vary here and there, this is mostly what I carry on my bag at all times.

What about you? Do you carry a small bag? Medium sized? Gigantic? And what do you take in it? Share it with me in the comments!

See you on the next post!

Early bird or night owl?

Hello, my pretties! How are you all doing? Everyone staying healthy and safe? I really do hope so!

I’m finally back to full-time, which means time is… not really available for most things. I didn’t want to spend too long away from here, though, so I just drop by to leave a quick question for all of you!

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

I can say for myself that I am a miserable combination of both – I wake up some time around six and can’t really go into deep sleep anymore, and then, once it’s bedtime for any sensible person, my ideas want to come out and play and have me do anything other than sleeping. It’s been like this since I can remember, and not even sleeping pills have fixed the issue.

What about you all? I’d love to hear from you, and, if you are an early to bed, early to rise person, tell me about it! I’m always very curious about the likes of you!

See you all on the next post (or in the comments), and stay safe!

Surprise gardening

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My accidental garden – Photo by Jay Souza, 06/03/2020

Hello, my pretties! How are you all doing? Well, I hope! I’m still doing well, and coming here to talk to you all again. Why? Well, because I forgot a very important update on my latest post! And because I wanted to, of course. It’s nice to drop by here and post something, and connect with others during these difficult times!

Alright, without further ado, let us move on to the update.

I’ll start this off by saying I don’t have a green thumb at all. My mother is good at gardening, and my dad really enjoys it, though he’s not as good as she is. I have not ever been able to keep a plant alive for more than a week – until now.

Providing a bit of context, I live on the ground level of my building, and most apartments on ground level here have a small enclosed garden right outside our balconies. Every apartment has a balcony, but, for obvious reasons, only the ones on the ground level have gardens. Another bit of context is that pretty much anything that falls from the floors above mine lands on my garden.

And this is how I got a surprise garden. I don’t do a lot of gardening (a bit obvious from the picture), but I get out every now and then – when it’s not too cold or rainy – to see if there’s something fallen out there and throw it out.

During one of these visits, I found three little sprouts, much to my surprise. I know exactly zero about plants, so I asked my dad (note: this was before the isolation became stricter and my parents live inside the same apartment complex) to come by and take a look. Much to my surprise and delight, we had a passion fruit (the one closer to the iron fence), a pumpkin (the large one that’s trying to take over the whole area) and another one I have yet to identify.

As we have had a bit of rain nearly daily, I just have to water them a bit every few days, and they seem to be thriving. I’m very excited and hoping they will carry on growing.

Well, I guess that’s it! Do you all have any nice surprises from these difficult times? I think we all need something good to hold on to!

See you all on the next post. Please stay safe, and love each other as much as you can!